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5 Laundry Tips for Men

2 minutes

I have noticed a plethora of domestically-relevant articles (such as household tips) lately on this site, and have observed that they are usually written by women. But women shouldn’t have a monopoly on ideas, so I thought it was time to put a man’s perspective on things.

We men are people, too, and we might have a few things to offer in this regard. Submitted for your approval, here are 5 easy laundry ideas from a homeschooling father’s point of view.

1. Stop Sorting.

We have to sort cans and bottles. We have to sort our garbage. You know what? I’m getting “sort of” tired of it all. The laundry container says that I should sort my laundry. (At least, I think that’s what it said—the font size of the print was too small for me to read. I think it was “Book Antiqua 4.” I relied mostly on pictures to come up with that determination.)

But you know what? I was offended by the words (and pictures) that suggested that I have time to sort clothes. I thought to myself: “Separate clothes? Sure, I’ll separate clothes. Right after I have tea and crumpets with the Queen of England.”

Sorting out my life is hard enough without the laundry, much less with it. And you know what? No one cares.

When was the last time you saw someone and thought, “Nice guy, but there’s no way he separates his clothes before washing them?”

2. Stop Folding.

If I understand correctly, the purpose for folding clothes is to prevent wrinkles. But we men are told that we look a little more distinguished with a few wrinkles. Why don’t we apply this same standard to our clothes?

3. Tell your Kids to do the Laundry.

When I see my kids playing on the XBOX, my first thought is not: “Gee, I would hate to interrupt that very important video game and ask them to do the laundry. I guess I’ll do it myself.” Be bold. When your wife asks you to do the laundry, turn right around and ask your kids to do it. “Passing the buck” didn’t become a trite expression because no one did it. The beauty of this is that—and you may already be getting ahead of me—you don’t have to do it yourself. That leaves you time to do something else—like something else. Besides, your kids are much more capable of reading the small print on the laundry containers.

4. Wear dirty clothes.

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Wearing dirty clothes is not that bad. Usually, the only person who knows how dirty your clothes are is you. Get over it. As with wrinkles, we men are told that we look more distinguished with a little grey. When it comes to my t-shirts, I take that very seriously.

Also, the smell of dirty clothes is often a lot better than smell of fresh clothes. Laundry detergent these days always smells like women’s perfume to me. Sometimes, when I walk into a meeting, I don’t want to smell like a “tangerine orchard” or a “field of lilies.” I would rather smell like a tool box or a car engine.

Wearing clothes for the second or third day can give you just the right manly scent you want.

5. Buy New Clothes.

Got nothing clean? That’s more easily resolved than you might realize. Sometimes it’s just easier to buy new clothes than do laundry. Come to think of it, it’s always easier.

And you thought men had nothing to offer.

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About John Clark

John Clark
John Clark is a homeschooling father, a speechwriter, an online course developer for Seton Home Study School, and a weekly blogger for The National Catholic Register. His latest book is “How to be a Superman Dad in a Kryptonite World, Even When You Can’t Afford a Decent Cape.”
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