This is the fourth part in the series Making Relationships Matter
Our mornings start off pretty much the same way every day. The alarm clock goes off at six as the sunlight faintly streams through our window. My husband and I wake up ever so slowly and pray our morning devotions together.
Then he hops in the shower while I hobble to the kitchen and make him a quick breakfast and pack his lunch. While he eats breakfast, I go outside in the freezing cold to heat up the car. We say our goodbye’s and I love you’s, and after he goes off to work, I sit on my blue chair and spend some quiet time in prayer before the children wake up.
This seems to be our morning routine day in and day out. Other than our prayer time, we barely exchange words, partly because he needs to be out of the door by a certain time and mostly because I am still half-asleep myself.
But sometimes I wonder…is it enough?
Are my small acts of devotion enough to make him feel loved?
Am I too busy fulfilling the duties of what I think a perfect wife and mother should be that I fail to cherish the beautiful gift of my marriage?
The Melancholic Martha that I am struggles to take the time to be the Mary who lovingly nurtured her relationships. So this Lent, I am making the extra effort of letting my husband know how much he means to me. Our husbands need to hear how much we love and cherish them. Below are simple words we can use to start:
1. Thank you for everything you do for us
Day in and day out, my husband gets up early, braves the weather, commutes to work, comes home, helps out with homework and evening chores and gives me the “me time” I need to do my writing.
He helps with bath time, reads to the little ones, prays with us, and goes to bed only to do the same thing the next day. He needs to hear how much we appreciate him and how much we are thankful for the sacrifices he embraces daily to be the priest, provider and protector of our family.
2. That’s what I love about you
In the midst of a tiresome and busy life, I really appreciate my husband’s sense of humor. He has a knack of saying things that stop me in my tracks, forcing me to slow down and just take the time to laugh.
These simple words do a wonderful job of taking us back to the time when we were college sweethearts and remind us of the reasons we fell in love with each other almost 25 years ago.
3. You are our hero
Yes, our hero works hard…very hard. He works his day job and still teaches guitar two nights a week to provide for the family.
He devotes one morning a week to volunteer at church and finds the time to play mini-conciertos at our local senior citizen home at least once a month. He even reads Religion, History, Science and Health to his children on Saturday nights.
Who says a superhero has to wear a cape? This man has got super powers, I tell you!
4. Everything will work out… it always does
When he experiences a particularly challenging day at work, my first instinct is to offer my husband a barrage of solutions, recommendations, suggestions and courses of action.
Sometimes, all he really needs is a non-judgmental listening ear. Most of the time, the only thing he needs to hear are these simple words of encouragement and hope.
It’s Nice to Know
These simple words of love take seconds to utter, affirm our husbands, don’t cost us anything, and are beyond priceless. It is important that they hear these words hidden deep within our hearts and hear them often.
I will leave all of you with my most favorite scene from the movie Fiddler on the Roof.
It is the part where Tevye asks his very busy wife Golde a simple question. The last line of the song poignantly reminds me of the importance of slowing down, the need to appreciate the beauty of my marriage and the power of very simple words.
Tevye: Do you love me?
Golde: Do I love you?
For twenty-five years I’ve washed your clothes
Cooked your meals, cleaned your house
Given you children, milked the cow
After twenty-five years, why talk about love right now?
Tevye: I know…but do you love me?
Golde: I suppose I do.
Tevye: And I suppose I love you, too.
Both: It doesn’t change a thing
But even so
After twenty-five years
It’s nice to know…
Father & Child Photo © Svetlana Iakusheva / Dollar Photo Club