This is the seventh part in the series Making Relationships Matter
My Dearest Talitha Christina,
It was almost seventeen years ago when you graced my womb with your presence. When your Papa and I heard the good news from the doctor’s office, we were beyond elated! We were young and nervous but very eager to become your parents. We looked forward to the day we can hold you in our arms and meet you face to face.
But it wasn’t meant to be.
We lost you at eight weeks and we were heartbroken.
No. We were beyond heartbroken.
We were crestfallen.
Day and night, night and day, tears flowed. We suffered. We grieved. But in our suffering and grief, we found grace. We found the grace to see the beautiful lessons you brought into our young married life.
You taught us so many sublime things and for these, my dear daughter, I am truly thankful.
You taught us the great value and dignity of all human life. The world may have other ideas of when life begins, but I felt your presence inside my womb from the very beginning. Yes, you were only eight weeks old but you were my baby. You were special because you were mine. Even if I didn’t get a chance to hold you or hear you, please know that you forever left an indelible mark on my body and my soul.
You taught us the redemptive value of suffering. While the world seems to want to run away from pain and fear, you taught us not just to accept suffering but to embrace it. You taught us to unite our fears, our pains, our heartaches, our brokenness and our grief with the sufferings of our Savior on the cross. You taught us to offer everything for love of God and for the salvation of mankind.
You taught us the promise of healing and hope. We learned that the gift of time does a beautiful job healing the tremendous pain of loss. We learned to hope again…to hope in our Heavenly Father’s infinite kindness, compassion, mercy and love.
It is amazing how someone, who is seemingly so insignificant in the eyes of this world, could make such a sublime impact on our lives. We love talking to your siblings about you and how much you meant to us. Every Christmas, we put up a small stocking with your name to remind us that you are still very much a part of our family.
We sit down together, ever so often, and watch our journal dedicated to your memory. Your siblings know very well the meanings of the symbols on this journal: a flower to symbolize how precious you are to us, a rainbow to symbolize passage from this earthly life to eternity and the heavens to symbolize hope and healing. For how can we find a way to forever keep a soul who was never truly meant to stay on this earth?
But until that day comes when I can finally hold you in my arms, I promise never to forget the lessons you taught me. I promise never to forget that our Savior’s Resurrection from the grave is proof that love conquers all…even death itself. And I promise that whenever I lose hope, I will always keep these words close to my heart:
Lift up your eyes
You must keep your hope in Heaven
For that’s where your treasure lies
And in night of that eternal dawn
All sorrow, pain and grief are gone
I myself will wipe your eyes
Where no child ever dies
Come, my child arise
Come, my child arise
All my Love,