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5 Reasons Why Homeschool Kids Will Survive the Zombie Apocalypse - by Dominic de Souza

5 Reasons Why Homeschool Kids Will Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

4 minutes

Summary

Young dad and Seton grad, Dominic de Souza thinks that homeschool kids may have 5 advantages over others in the coming apocalypse.

From the "Top 20 All Time Most Popular Articles."

 Editors Note:Originally published October 20, 2014.

The Zombie Apocalypse – we’re told – is coming, so get prepping.

We’ve seen the hordes of pale, disjointed shadows staggering around neighborhoods, clawing through windows and muttering something about ‘bwainzz…’  You haven’t? You’ve been missing out.

This hilarious meme made me realize that homeschool kids may have five advantages over everyone else in this coming apocalypse.

Maybe you’ll think of more (and better ones!), but here we go.  : )

5 Reasons Why Homeschool Kids Will Survive the Zombie Apocalypse - by Dominic de Souza

1. Homeschool Kids Get Better Cardio

And we all know we’ll need it when they come after you during your morning jog. Better cardio means faster neural response, regularly active muscles, and sure, a harder punch.

Scientific evidence has demonstrated again and again that children who eat well and get lots of fresh air and regular vigorous exercise are better students in every way. They are more alert and better able to focus on their academic work and household chores. (Happy and Heathy)

I don’t know about your family, but growing up in mine, we had plenty of kids and not-plenty of the money (sound familiar?). So we improvised. When studies were over, we were out creating obstacle courses, climbing trees, digging Pits-of-No-Return and re-enacting favorite movie moments.

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Compare this to “The average young person racks up 10,000 hours of gaming by the age of 21…” (Game Designer Jane McGonigal, TED.com)

Hey, I’ve nothing against video games. I love a good HALO 4 binge now and then. But still, that 10,000 hours of sunlight, exploration and cardio that most/some homeschool kids have under their belt that others don’t.

An advantage? Check.

2. Homeschool Kids Use their Environment Better

Otherwise known as innovation. Granted, not all kids are equal, but I bet you that actually playing around in the physical world preps your mental and physical gears to make better connections and clever inventions. I mean, it’s worked for the last 6000 years…

When it comes to pairing objects, overcoming challenges, and dealing with daily reality, homeschool kids who get out and about are far better able to judge distances and object resistance (jumping rooftops and using planks/anvils on… stuff).

Gaming will give you fun and fantastic theories, but without practice, theory stays behind the screen, and hand-to-eye coordination misses out on body-to-mind involvement.

“Rather than being a hindrance to athletics, homeschooling is increasingly recognized as a boon to athletic life” (Coming to a Stadium Near You).

Muscle up, hombres.

3. Homeschool Kids Make Better Teams

Okay, so this is debatable. In my family – with five boys – whose team you were on depended on whether you’d played fair last time. Although my parents stepped in frequently to separate our little cage fights, we battled constantly. But, against any outsider, we always pulled together.

Almost.

So this one will depend on how y’all get along. When it comes to World War Z, if the goal is saving everyone, then you’ll want people used to working/playing/fighting with each other, not just Numero Uno.

What was important was that we got to know each other’s strengths and weaknesses, not just through a headset and a HUD, but the actual person. When to trust the person and where in the line to put them makes a world of difference when the wall is coming apart at the seams.

In ‘Why I Hope to Homeschool My Family’, Emily Molitor sums it up perfectly:

Even while one sibling may disagree with another, or struggle to find common ground as adults, we nevertheless have something bigger which unites us and overcomes our differences. We have our faith, our family, and our memories. Most of our ideals and memories are ones which unite, rather than divide us. I think that we have an understanding of one another which runs deep, and is rooted in the hours spent together in our home.

4. Homeschool Kids Have Community – Or None

In my experience, homeschool moms come in two flavors (determined by type/situation): the mom who networks like crazy and has friends all the way out to California (or Wyoming if you’re over there already), or the other mom who lives on a farm/far from everyone because of the job or preference.

Option 1 means that in case of an emergency, she’ll know where to go and have loads of contacts ready to collect at the nearest baseball field, parish hall or retired nuclear silo. These kids are always highly-socialized from trips to Senior Care Homes to chicken-pox parties (do those still exist, by the way?), not to mention birthdays. “For our family, this type of socializing is much more realistic and applicable to the real world” (The Two Absolutely Best Arguments for Homeschooling).

Option 2 means that in the event of a zombie apocalypse… it doesn’t matter. At least if you’re on a farm, or further out in the boonies. They’ll never get to you, and you’ll become the Last Homely House in Kentucky. And you’re still highly socialized because of daily contact with each other and various family age-groups.

And if you’re just far away from friends, in a new neighborhood or something, well, we’re talking about homeschooling Moms. They invented the idea of ‘safe zones’ and ‘efficient evacuation’.

You think guys did? How do you think moms get everyone to Mass or games on time?

I’m in serious need of a professional organizer who specializes in homeschool classrooms for 10 kids in a 12×14 foot space. This specialist would need to have experience in Emergency Disaster Relief, and two-year-olds, and have a good sense of humor too! (I’m Not  a Professional Homeschooling Mother. Seriously.)

And yet this mom still has the job, and I’m sure she’s excellent at it.

5. Homeschool Kids Think Better and Faster

When it comes down to zombie survival, the ones who will make it and be able to protect the weak will be those with strong bodies and quick minds. Homeschool kids have that edge (okay, most. Many. You think?).

One of the chief academic benefits of homeschooling is that students can move at their own pace. Without the confines of a classroom in which a teacher must move slowly enough for the tortoises yet quickly enough for the hares—which really is an impossible task when you think about it—children have the freedom and the motivation to excel. (The Tortoise and the Hare in the Classroom)

And more often than not, we can be fiercely independent (at least in my background we’re Latino-Irish… hotheads all round.)

Especially in our post-Christian culture, peer pressure often has devastating effects on young people. … My homeschooling taught me to be highly independent. My education in high school was largely self-directed, although my mom gave me help when she saw that I was overwhelmed. I was independent in my schooling, but I could also think for myself when I was around people (4 Life Lessons I Learned from My Homeschooling Mom).

With room to breathe for mental excellence and the freedom to be independent, this is starting to sound a whole lot like some historical figures who rose above the status quo, and were forces of change in their environments. Founding Fathers, anyone?

So there you have it. 5 reasons I can think of for homeschool kids to survive the zombie apocalypse. What can you add?

Dun dun dunnn…. Oh wait, maybe it’s here already… ; )

CB-Zombies1

About Dominic de Souza


Dominic de Souza
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I am a pipe-smoking, sword-wielding, book-loving Catholic author, who loves writing, reading and illustration. I’m a hobbit at heart, but I live in Gondor, and send home stories from the frontlines. I'm married, and work as a graphic designer for Seton Home Study School. My website is: catholicauthor.us.

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  • Dessi

    I loved it!! Can not wait to read more!!

  • Abby Sasscer

    AWESOME!!!!

  • sheri

    Those Zombies better start running! (or limping away) lol They don’t stand a chance.

  • Kay Ballard

    Oh my heavens! This was the greatest post to wake up too. I tease all the time, that when the zombie apocalypse comes, my daughter and I will jump in our zombie mobile, a Mercedes M320, and ride off into the sunset to safety. This post made my morning. I had the computer read it to my daughter and I while we switched from Spanish, to Religion, to Math. LOL! Hilarious! Thank you of this little ray of sunshine on my day. I will be sharing this post for others to enjoy. God Bless!

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  • Francine

    I actually find this to be incredibly stupid and short-sighted. God Bless homeschoolers, but he also blesses Public School kids, private school kids and parochial school kids. My kids have been in both Catholic and Public Schools, and quite frankly, their public school education was far superior to Catholic school (I am very sad to say). One thing that gave me a bad taste in my mouth about Catholic school was how superior most parents felt they were to all other forms of education. This attitude seems to be the same attitude many homeschool families take on. I know MANY MANY homeschool families and am very close to many.. My daughter’s confirmation sponsor is a homeschool mom, and she will agree with me, it is posts like this that does not do the homeschool cause any good. I am glad you can homeschool and afford to homeschool. But it does not make you superior to anyone. I could have easily thought when I read the title of this post “hmm they will survive because they too are like zoombies” but that would be lumping some with the all.

    • Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Francine. :)

      • Francine

        Thanks Dominic and thanks for not deleting! ha ha. In my case for defending PS school, I would like to add, that the picture of the kids all on cell phones is disturbing, this is a problem with society as a whole. But, one of my PS kids and I went to a Mother Daughter retreat at a lovely convent. She was the only PS kid among 24 girls. She enjoyed it thoroughly and broke down some stereotypes both “sides” have of each other. However, the funny thing was that SHE was the ONLY girl there that did not have a cell phone and the Sisters did not have to speak to her about putting their cellphone away, as they had to with many of the other girls and her Mom (me :) ) was one of the few parents that also did not have to have a cell phone.

        • :D You’re right, there are always exception to any rule, and
          especially to stereotypes. I’m absolutely confident that there are amazing kids, families and students out there not homeschooling.

          No one should be supercilious with their lifestyle; the moment they have, they’ve lost an ability to connect. We all do the best we can. :)

          And I hope this article is taken in the spirit in which is was written; total, wry tongue-in-cheek-edness. It probably wouldn’t hold much water in a court of law.

  • This is the second Seton article in recent memory that just assumes that the primary homeschooling parent is the mom. What about dad, who, in addition to also being Catholic blogger, practicing attorney, smoker and curer of meats and brewer of beer, is also unit commander for the family’s Z.A. readiness squad (as well as the primary homeschooling parent)? Sheesh, talk about being the outlier, even in alternative lifestyle.

    • Absolutely awesome response, Z.A. Squad Commander. I wish there was more awareness about the contributions many dads make on the Homefront! Of course, when one writes generically, one calls on generic facts – such that moms are usually the ones training the lions, and involved Dads are a (under-appreciated) minority.

      Thoughts about sharing your experiences and how you make brewing, attorneying and meat-smoking work with kids? Love to hear!

  • Nanci

    As a fencing instructor (and “retired” homeschooling mom of 4 young adult kids), I love the first part of the post. It must be true as the Salem Homeschool Byzantines Fencing Team has won every Salem High School Fencing League Championship for the past 9 years! I guess I can say all of my fencers will be ready for the zombie apocalypse then as they’ve got the “melee weapons fighting” and “small unit tactics” ready for action.

  • Su Williams

    This was a fantastic take on the zombie apocalypse…and promoted homeschooling very nicely!

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  • Natalie P

    Haha, cute!! I was on Seton to check my high schooler’s latest uploads and saw this in my peripheral vision as I logged in our family password, the zombie page disappearing. I had to go back as it registered in my brain a little late and see if I was seeing things. LOL Awesome tongue in cheek article. Reminds me a little of Eye of the Tiber. :D

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